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posted by [personal profile] dglenn at 05:26am on 2006-10-24 under

Wolfgang giggled. "Nonsense! It's a marvelous place, the Grimwald. Full of wonder and enchantment! Unicorns, even! The world's greatest mystery, you know?"

"What's that?" I asked.

"Why, it's obvious! How do unicorns propagate, when they've got this fetish about virginity?" He cackled. "I've spent years trying to figure it out. Even asked the head psychiatrist at the asylum. The man's a genius, you know? But he was no help, at all. Said that unicorns were just a figment of my imagination."

"They are," said Gwendolyn forcefully.

"Well, of course, I know that!" Wolfgang's voice was full of aggrievement. "I'm not stupid, you know, just insane. But that's the whole point! How do unicorns propagate in my imagination, when they've got this fetish about virginity? My imagination certainly doesn't. Have a fetish about virginity, I mean." He howled like a lunatic. "Quite the contrary! A cornucopia of sexual perversion, it is, my imagination. I've scolded it many times, but it keeps coming up with the wildest ideas! For instance--"

"Wolfgang, shut up!" roared Gwendolyn.

"Such a prude! Oh, very well. But, anyway, for some reason my imagination comes up short whenever it tries to picture unicorns propagating. Years, I've spent, trying to figure out why. It's very important, you know, for a lunatic to understand his imagination. Sane people never have to worry about it, of course. You can just pass things off by saying 'it's just my imagination.' But a dement can't do that, because we live in the world of our imagination. So--"

"Wolfgang, shut up!" roared Gwendolyn.

"But, my dear Gwendolyn, you're missing the whole point! Sane people are such cripples! Hamstrung, you are, by the real world. Whereas a madman can just dismiss the problem by saying 'it's just the real world,' and go on about the important business, which is imagining--"

Gwendolyn heaved herself out of the yoke and stalked back to the cart. She glared up at the towering figure of the madman, still sitting in the pose of an icon.

"If you don't shut up," she hissed between her teeth, "the real world will intrude upon your imagination this very minute."

-- From Forward the Mage, by Eric Flint & Richard Roach (Baen Books, 2002; ISBN: 0-7434-3524-9 1, LC: PS3556.L548 F67 2002, DD: 813'.54--dc21 2001056468)

There are 2 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
posted by [identity profile] anniemal.livejournal.com at 10:54pm on 2006-10-24
Hunh. I always figured unicorns just...you know...like everything and -body else mammalian. There are male and female unicorns, right?
posted by [identity profile] kolraashgadol.livejournal.com at 12:52am on 2006-10-25
The guy *is* mad - either there's no problem at all, or the problem is far worse than he makes out: Unicorns aren't interested inunicron virginity, they're interested in human virginity. SO either they are willing to mate with non-virgin unicorns, then, no problem, OR they only want to commit interspecies sex - then it's no wonder we don't see so many of them around these days. Even in our imaginations.




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